Hearing stories about why others are out on a mission kind of brought me down. I have had experiences and they have been amazing! But so many others have gone through things I can barely imagine and it has made them strong and their testimonies reflect their inspiring determination. Stories of overcoming and persevering through family problems, death of loved ones, even suicide of close friends. I was not anticipating all of their experiences and I allowed myself to feel... I guess discouraged. Did I know why I was here on my own mission?
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| My art |
I wrote in my journal my experiences to try to make me feel a bit better and it sort of worked. But what really helped me was praying to my Father in Heaven. I felt comforted. The next day, I started drawing on the same page as the day before but words came to my mind and instead of drawing, I wrote them down.
“Turn the page...” I wrote. “It's a new day!
My soul lifted and I felt courage and peace. I then began to draw what I was feeling on the next page. I love that picture because it still gives me the courage, peace and strength that I felt that day. I’m so grateful for art and being able to express myself through it.
The next story I’ll tell is about the power of music. It is tradition for the leaving districts to sing a song during their past sacrament meeting with the zone. The song that we chose was the EFY Melody. This song has always been special to me because it reminds me of when I sang a rendition of it with my family and also a miraculous experience I had on Trek when I sang it then. Little did I know it would be wonderful to me even here at the MTC.
Practices were always pretty bad, like they usually are but I had faith that the Lord would help us do our best on the actual day and thus it was! It was powerful. The spirit filled the room and while we were up there I realized two distinct things that Heavenly Father wanted me to know.
The first came about because I looked out the window of the room we were in and once again saw the building I stayed in during my time at BYU. At that moment I was singing with power, proclaiming that I was a missionary. I knew then that I could overcome the feeling of longing I got whenever I saw that scene. No longer would it hold sway over my heart and no longer would I allow it to tempt me away from being a missionary for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Now whenever I look towards BYU I feel warm and smile because I know where I’m going and what I’m doing. I’ll return there someday, but that isn’t today.
The second realization came from the words we sang on the last chorus. Instead of singing “we will be the Lord’s missionaries!” we changed it to say “we are now the Lord’s missionaries!” At that moment all my feelings of loneliness disappeared and I discovered that the Elders and Sisters who stood by my side had become my family! I had hope that my district and every missionary I would ever meet were a part of one great family. We may have come from different walks of life with different experiences but we all had one thing in common; being united to do this great work! I may feel alone sometimes but in reality I’m never alone. I will always have a Sister in the Gospel by my side.
“Turn the page...” I wrote. “It's a new day!
My soul lifted and I felt courage and peace. I then began to draw what I was feeling on the next page. I love that picture because it still gives me the courage, peace and strength that I felt that day. I’m so grateful for art and being able to express myself through it.
The next story I’ll tell is about the power of music. It is tradition for the leaving districts to sing a song during their past sacrament meeting with the zone. The song that we chose was the EFY Melody. This song has always been special to me because it reminds me of when I sang a rendition of it with my family and also a miraculous experience I had on Trek when I sang it then. Little did I know it would be wonderful to me even here at the MTC.
Practices were always pretty bad, like they usually are but I had faith that the Lord would help us do our best on the actual day and thus it was! It was powerful. The spirit filled the room and while we were up there I realized two distinct things that Heavenly Father wanted me to know.
The first came about because I looked out the window of the room we were in and once again saw the building I stayed in during my time at BYU. At that moment I was singing with power, proclaiming that I was a missionary. I knew then that I could overcome the feeling of longing I got whenever I saw that scene. No longer would it hold sway over my heart and no longer would I allow it to tempt me away from being a missionary for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Now whenever I look towards BYU I feel warm and smile because I know where I’m going and what I’m doing. I’ll return there someday, but that isn’t today.
The second realization came from the words we sang on the last chorus. Instead of singing “we will be the Lord’s missionaries!” we changed it to say “we are now the Lord’s missionaries!” At that moment all my feelings of loneliness disappeared and I discovered that the Elders and Sisters who stood by my side had become my family! I had hope that my district and every missionary I would ever meet were a part of one great family. We may have come from different walks of life with different experiences but we all had one thing in common; being united to do this great work! I may feel alone sometimes but in reality I’m never alone. I will always have a Sister in the Gospel by my side.
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| Amazing district and a teacher; Sister Rojas |
That night I let go of the hard feeling I had with my companion and I was more free than I have ever been here at the MTC. I laughed, joked, and played with the others and I really needed to be joyous. That day the Elders became my brothers and same with the Sisters! Sunday night was joyful beyond what I can say, but there was much more to come the next day.....
Amazing district and a teacher; Sister Rojas
The day went slow and somber because we all knew it was the last day that all of us would be together. The classes came and went, kind of dull, but the moment I want to touch upon was at district council that evening. We finished telling each other why each of us were on our missions and my companion was last. But before she even started she was already in tears and could not tell her story. She didn’t want too.
After a while of silence, Elder Smith began his testimony and got it going. Everyone has beautiful testimonies and most of what was said was how we really had become brothers and sisters. We had come from so many different places but now we were one! Many tears were shed, and eventually my companion was willing to share with us her reason for a mission.
I was astounded at the things she been through. She ended with the Lord’s promise that she would be a light unto others and help them know they are loved. She has doubts because of her experiences but she is putting her faith in God. Somehow, with her mission she will be able to receive this blessing. I teared up at this. I haven’t told her yet, but she and I have the same desire. We both hope that Heavenly Father will help us make a difference. Knowing this has definitely helped me love her more than ever before! I am astounded in her faith and pray that she will have that blessing and all others that God wants her to have.
The rest of the testimonies were so tender and I loved them all so much. We also exchanged little notes with each other. But I didn’t truly cry until the very end when Elder Smith gave the closing prayer. We all knelt down on the floor and got in a really close circle. I don’t remember much of what was said, but the spirit descended almost tenfold and tears fell from my eyes. I knew without a doubt that we were family and always would be because of all that we’ve been through.
I cried for our family, and those who would leave in the next few days. I cried because of the love I felt and the connection to each and every one of them. By the end, everyone was crying, Sister Finlinson the most of all. She had clung to her companion and was sobbing. I had enough to go over and cling on, sobbing with her and feeling her sorrow. She was amongst the first to leave and she was my closest friend. It hurt to see her sob so heartbroken! (Sorry to say family that I cried harder here than I did saying goodbye to you all)
This is when it was the hardest to not hug all the Elders! It was awful! But alas I have not and await for the day to hug the rest of you! The rest of the night I kept thinking of a scripture in Alma. (Huzzah for the scriptures!) When Alma the younger sees the sons of Mosiah for the first time in years. It is after they have all been preaching the word of God and they rejoice exceedingly! But what added to their joy was finding each other still strong in the faith.
This story gives me hope that I will see the members of this district again, whether it be in this life or the next. And we will rejoice exceedingly for the success each one of us will have. Our district chose the Christ-like attribute of hope this week and I think it is a great one to work on.
We will hope for each other’s safety in our travels. We will hope for success in our missions and for strength to see them through! And we will hope for the day when we will be able to see each other and rejoice!
I’m going to miss my district so much! Every time I think of the faces of those who have already left I get tears in my eyes. But I know the Lord will carry me through this last week and seeing everyone else leave. Four left today, six Elders leave tomorrow, and then three sisters head out next Tuesday, leaving me to be the last to go next Wednesday. The Lord will carry me through this.
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| After district council last night |
I love telling you all stories and I hope that they brighten your day. Even though they were kind of sad this week. I’ll try to find more funny stories in the future. I love you all so very much!
Until next time,
Sister Becca Steiner
Until next time,
Sister Becca Steiner
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